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Ted: the boy that made me a mother and turned my world upside down in so many ways

Neglected though this blog is, I love to write. But I often need a kick up the bum to do it. So when I saw a competition on the excellent Motherland site, I knew I had to enter. I had a good feeling about my chances and it turns out I was right. I won third prize!

I’ve shared a lot on this blog but there are things I’ve never admitted. I feel awful for saying that at one point I wish Ted had died, but it was the truth. It was a fleeting thought in a very dark time and was tied up in the shock and grief of a ‘severe cerebral palsy’ diagnosis, but I would never wish it now. It shows how twisted up I was that I saw it as an easier option. My heart breaks for the many parents who have lost children to the complications of HIE and disability.  Hopefully admitting such a painful truth will help others understand the depths of despair you can be in, but I am truly sorry if it offends or upsets anyone. 

If you’d like to read my musings on the peculiarities of our particular brand of parenthood, see the Motherland blog here.