Although, I have to be honest, I’m not feeling that positive about the ‘good’ news. Mainly because the bad news is so crappy.

Dr K called with the results of Ted’s EEG very shortly after my last post so I wasn’t playing the waiting game for long.

The positive is: he’s not having infantile spasms. But don’t crack out the champers just yet.

His funny jerks are actually grand mal seizures – ie proper epilepsy, the kind that usually makes you fall to the floor convulsing, biting your tongue and pissing yourself. Fun times.

We’re investigating meds and waiting to see a neurologist, while I’m wrestling with my hatred of conventional medicine and stressing over how best to treat this.

Yet again just when everything seems to be improving I’m blindsided by another setback. Yet more of my worst fears for Ted have come true and I’m broken and sad and raging all over again. I’d vent more but what’s the use? Plus, I’m bringing a case against the NHS so I should probably be careful about what I say.

All I can do is pick myself up, dust myself down and stay strong for my beautiful boy. It’s not the first time and it won’t be the last.

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